|The Yellow Brick Road to Cocktail Land|
|"Come taste my drinks. I guarantee they are shaken AND stirred"|
|This is truly the exact representation of "THE GOOD STUFF" noted above.|
|There's a weird lady in my glass. And it's still better than Vodka.|
|Toxicity levels RISING.|
|"Hey, girl...You forgot your handle. Woops, I mean your plastic bottle of Rite Aid Brand Rubbing Alchy."|
Also, SIDENOTE...while researching this TOPIC, I decided that I was in over my head, and that it was too tough for me to pick and choose specific cocktails or alcohols or mixed drinks...However, in pretty much every section of mixed drinks, I found a drink labeled "Orgasm" or other sexual acts...one might INQUIRE as to how the burning, awkward sensation of rubbing alcohol cascading through your mouth area might be compared to sex...but I digress, again. Unfortunately, I do not have all the answers.
SO, LET THE BLENDED/MIXED/STIRRED/ORGASM DRINKS BEGIN.
Margarita (the-better-than-orgasms-and-sex-drink) - either blended or "on the rocks", rimmed with salt or sugar (or my personal favorite, a mixture of both), filled hopefully to the brim with fruity citrus-y filled GOODNESS. I find that everyone I know enjoys a margarita, EVEN MEN. So I take that to mean it is a non-judgmental alcohol that enjoys LONG SIPS ON THE BEACH, small swimsuits that aren't actually flattering but that prevent awkward tan lines, and LOTS AND LOTS OF SNACKING. Tequila, mixed with strawberries, a bit of ice and sugar and salt, as well as some sweet and sour mix/limeade and some strawberry preserve, IS THE BEST THING ON THE PLANET. Good thing they didn't call this an orgasm...it's BETTER. Sweet, a bit tangy, the small crunch from the salt/sugared rim...PERFECT on a warm day, especially at the beach or near the water...HOWEVER. BE WARNED. Tequila strips the clothes and the dignity right off of people. Without even asking nicely. Why have so MANY of my friends, and even my ENEMIES, said they can't do tequila?? I HAVE NO CLUE! I guess a bad experience or something...but I've just never had one...Now Vodka, that's another story. But I find Tequila tastes so wonderful, even on its own, that I do in fact drink it because of the taste, instead of the DRUNK EFFECT when one has 10 shots and 3 margaritas TO BOOT.
|One ticket to PARADISE.|
|Truly offensive. Alcohol of ALL kinds lowers EVERYONE'S standards...|
|YOU FOOLED ME.|
|Which is stronger...the drink, or her red lipstick and choker necklace?|
|Warming countless people's love caves.|
|Hi regular, boring coffee. I'd like you to meet the best new thing you've ever tasted. It's called IRISH.|
Mountain Dew Me
Bend Over Shirley
Suck, Bang, Blow
After reviewing the aforementioned cocktails, please create your own names in response. We could be enjoying a Shirley's Buttery Nipple in no time...