Hey there, friends. Remember Deviantart? I sure fucking do. An art website mostly dedicated to anime and demented works from the minds of scene girls. It is an endless reserve of terrible art and naked pictures of chubby goths. It also secretly has a wonderful collection of classy vintage nudes. What is the world we live in???
Anyway, I love looking at the sort of stuff I just ruthlessly scorned. Only baby seals videos cheer me up faster than bad fan art. Nothing beats baby seals, guys. A while ago I noticed a trend in Allison Harvard fan art. A marvelous trend. Allison was a contestant on America's Next Top Model, mainly known for her enormo woodland-creature eyes and her nosebleed fetish. It is no surprise that she has a cult following since she originated as an internet meme on 4chan anywayz.
Holy Tartar Sauce, some of her fans are decent artists.
Yah, dat looks like her. GOOD JOB CELLESRIA.
And then we have this kind of interpretation, from the tweeny anime twits of the world.
Eyes larger than her own hands. Her contacts must alternately function as serving bowls. Also, what is the scene here exactly? She's holding a bunny, she's in chains? Her torturers allowed her a reassuring stuffed toy to clutch whilst being whipped?! She's just on a swing and I'm an asshole?!
I will openly admit that I made equally shitty art not very long ago, and probably still, but that isn't going to stop me from making fun of this ridiculous crap.
A poignant portrait of Joanie after being battered into tears by Tyra's cruel tongue. Perhaps she's feeling the angst of resembling a German Expressionist, racoon-eyed Sarah Jessica Parker.
According to the description, this piece was not based on any particular contestant, but rather inspired by the feel of ANTM. If ANTM has a feel, it is the feeling of boogers not quite dry under your chair. I name this contestant Cheetararah. Also maybe Tina Turner. Cheetinturnrarah.
Nope. Not quite right. Keep workin', girl doodling in the back of bio. I see you.
True digital artistry. The texture of the water is remarkable. And the choice to exclude Ebony's mouth, yes I get it. If only she hadn't added that (c), I could claim this masterpiece as my own and make millions. Damn you cautious young deviantartists!
Cross-hatching gone wrong. We've all been there, and it ain't pretty. Ivory-pale Noreen has been covered in soot, much like that one kid's book about the dirty puppy or whatever.
Here are some actually good ones.
Yes. Excellent rendering. No sarcasm this time. POINTS.
Also well done. SURPRISE, SURPRISE, DEVIANTART.
I don't know what this is about, but it's my favorite.
Male reenactment of Allison's photo shoot. Delicate. Lovely. Stubbly.
So yes. ANTM is fertile ground for young knaves armed with graphite sticks and dreams of internet art fame. On your journey, little dweebies, watch out for the dreaded troll who sits under the bridge and will leave you thinly-veiled sarcastic comments and then you have to explain to your mom that they are just being mean. I am that troll.
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