Weight-loss as Reality Television. More simply put? GET OFF MY ELLIPTICAL.

My steadfast love for reality-based weight loss shows I admit is out of control. Losing It with Jillian Michaels, Extreme Makeover: Weight-loss Edition, and The Biggest Loser? BRING IT ON EVERY NIGHT. Do I have 5 hours a day to work out at a gym, with a personal trainer touching my sweat and forcing me to scream at them? Absolutely not. However, I have time to watch an hour or two of the EMOTIONAL PROGRESSION of individuals SMART ENOUGH TO SIGN UP FOR A REALITY SHOW where they are filmed running on a treadmill. (Here ends my abrupt introduction to the wonders of reality-based television involving sweat and possible weight-loss).

Now onto possibly the most ridiculous of weight-loss shows. THE BIGGEST LOSER. 

Contestants’ endless dedication to HARD, SWEATY WORK with inches lost on the waist and GAINED IN THE HEART, or an unforgivable portrayal of sad individuals stuck in the THROWS of emotional, reality show entertainment, while simultaneously mounting and dismounting the elliptical. Both are valid arguments for this reality show turned public TV therapy session. Below will be a discussion of the show’s trainers, past and present (Bob, Jillian, and Dolvett), the absence of proper therapy on THE RANCH, as well as critiques of the reality-based portion of the show. HERE IT BEGINS.

THE TRAINERS.

Bob. A brilliant man with a HINT of true Southern fire. I would describe him as the COMICAL one.

Oh, GET UP. You think you're done....

Jillian. (Although not on the show anymore, as she is off filming her own show LOSING IT WITH JILLIAN MICHAELS). The craziest, smallest firecracker of a lady that uses herself as exercise equipment and weights. And also poses for photo shoots. 

(This dress is 50 % spandex, 40 % sweat pant, and 10 % PAIN)

Dolvett. The newest trainer, and the most attractive. A dreamy yet SCULPTED ENTITY providing anatomically correct MUSCULATURE for viewers to commit fully to memory. Also very loud.

 I LOVE YOU.

Together, these three marvelous trainers have made it FUN TO WATCH as contestants sweat, roll their eyes, and mouth off to the grueling PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL exercises. Now, I am VERY PERSONALLY AWARE of arguments that this show makes fun of and exploits contestants and their inability to exercise without screaming and experiencing terror, through dramatic music and one on one camera time. I disagree. As with any reality show, the contestants sign up for what they will be experiencing. This immediately reminds all viewers that, while the emotion and heartbreak of hearing their life stories is real, The Biggest Loser is a GAME. A game dealing with health and weight-loss, but a game nonetheless. Therefore, while I do not think it FUNNY to critique contestants for their size, exercise routine completion, or emotional state, it is a game, and a reality television show. Therefore, I will watch it, cry with contestants, revel in its ridiculous humor, and stare at its ATTRACTIVE TRAINERS (while simultaneously dream that they will SCREAM AT ME to move FASTER in my dreams…Dolvett).

HOWEVER. While I enjoy the show and acknowledge the ridiculousness of the challenges, rules and GAME MENTALITY, there are some FUNDAMENTAL PROBLEMS with reality television, especially related to weight-loss. As we are aware, weight gain and loss is very much connected to our mental and emotional states. While I am NOT AT ALL a licensed therapist or counselor, I AM ALSO AWARE THAT THE TRAINERS AND HOSTS ARE EQUALLY NOT LICENSED THERAPISTS AND COUNSELLORS. Therefore, I call them out on their ridiculous psychological MUSINGS in reference to emotional blocks for contestants and their weight-loss.

 Bob. You are sweet, kind, and approachable, and you would make me feel quite comfortable opening up to you about many problems. HOWEVER. You cannot convince me that lifting ONE MORE WEIGHT will allow me to let go of 20 years of emotional baggage related to a career, family, or personal problem. Forget it. Raise my treadmill incline, NOT my blood pressure.

Are you uncomfortable? How about now...

Jillian. Although you are no longer with The Biggest Loser TEAM, SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN FOR ONCE. Train hard, shut up harder. You are not a therapist, and it makes me UNCOMFORTABLE to watch you try SO HARD to force contestants to CRY AND LET OUT THEIR FEARS. Guess what. Their number one fear is that you will get ANY CLOSER TO THEM, you crazy sometimes-funny little gremlin.

I WILL STAND ON YOU IF YOU DON'T PUSH HARDER.

Dolvett. As you are new, I have not seen as many false therapy offenses DURING WORKOUT TIME. However, you’re starting to touch contestants as you have “heart to hearts” with them. A BIG NO. Therapists must create BOUNDARIES. And as you are not a therapist, if I am your TRAINEE, please HUG ME ONCE. Then twice.

GET OFF OF ME, SANTA. Also, run FASTER.

A SIMPLE FIX, producers of The Biggest Loser? Try NOT GETTING SUED a little harder, and either stop the emotional connection BS, or get a THERAPIST to at least pretend to do something psychologically motivating.

My last point, in reference to THIS WONDERFUL RIDICULOUS REALITY SHOW, is the difference between the reality-portion of the show, the "GAME MENTALITY", and its overall meaning. I admit that this show, as well as others like it, is not for everyone. The reality portion can be too ridiculous and annoying for some (even myself, most episodes!) However, I refuse to be BULLIED into feeling bad for watching and loving this show, as it is ADVERTISED AND PRESENTED AS A REALITY HEALTH TELEVISION SHOW. NEED I SAY MORE? If you are in agreement that this show is ridiculous yet catchy, you are CORRECT. Revel in it. If you think the show is exploitative of the overweight population, I say only this. No one has 5 hours a day to work out. However, we DO have the CHOICE to accept or decline invitations to be on reality television.