It's Never the Time for a Tube Top Wrinkle Shirt-Dress

HELLO! (I would like to begin this discussion based on HAPPINESS and POSITIVITY…hence the exclamation point!) To be clear, is my absolute FIRST blog. As in, while I might not know who I am writing to, or where to post it, the MEAT OF THE DISCUSSION STILL HOLDS TRUE.

Now that I have my aggressive yet meaningful introduction to SCARE AWAY NON-READERS, I think we should discuss an important topic. WHAT NOT TO WEAR. And I mean both the television PHENOMENON and what people should not be wearing.

Let us begin.

While I have little to no FISCAL support, as I am a college student, I seem to collect items of clothing and accessories that I DO NOT HATE. Because of this, I am able to SAY I LOVE CLOTHING. As well as the way things can be put together to GO, not MATCH. That being said, I also very much enjoy looking at other people’s styles, clothing, and INTERESTS. IN ADDITION, taking a look at the psychological and EMOTIONAL mindset of the guests is very interesting and TELLING of our society.

           I could write 1,400 pages about this show. So I will write about only one today: the type of clothing guests SPORT during their secret footage, before the miraculous makeover and REVEAL (except in the case of Denise, the famous “make-under” guest). Whether a light-wash baggy jean, a tight tube top, NO BRA, or terrible pantie/Y lines, we have all probably seen it. Which means Stacy and Clin’in have seen even more. While I do NOT believe that clothing makes a person, or that a sense of style and an ability to mix and wear expensive accessories and make-up deems someone worthy of living, let’s be real. Some clothing offenses are just too bad. Listed below are my top four offenses (not meant to actually offend people if they do wear this, as it is a COMMON PROBLEM that is fixable…also, if you like wearing any of these things, what do I care! Wear them and at least be proud of it!)

       1)    Wearing tights with a peep-toe strappy block heel or DAY SNEAKER.

  

      2)    Wearing a sweatshirt with cutoff sleeves (HOMEMADE CUTOFF SLEEVES) and possibly an undershirt for warmth? Not actually helping.

                                              

       3)    The common high-water stretchy kind-of-cotton pant (generally in obnoxious prints) worn to the corporate office by many.

       4)    The too-tight rubber/spandex number meant to be a bath mat, yet frequently found on a woman in the form of a shirt dress 6 sizes too small.

     

A description of the offenses follows…

           1)    First of all, I’m sure your toes are chilly. Warm them up, and cover them. IF A PEEP TOE IS NECESSARY, remove the stockings, lotion-ATE the legs and feet, and be on your way. No harm, and CERTAINLY no exposed seaming!!

           2)    The logistics behind wearing a long-sleeved undershirt topped with a cutoff sweatshirt are almost unbearable. For warmth? Absolutely not. Increased arm mobility? Perhaps. Fashion? MAYBE. As I said earlier, if these are your fashion styles, be my guest. But do not wear them if you do not believe in them. Arms generally move just as easily through a long sleeved number with a FLATTERING JACKET. Try it out!

           3)    As I am almost 6 feet tall, I am aware of the high-water problem, and it is RAMPANT among ladies (and men) short and tall. Why. Higher ankle mobility? To expose weekly designated sock collections a pair at a time? For a SLIGHT DRAFT ON THE SHIN? Regardless of the reason, from personal experience a high water PANT is uncomfortable, awkward, and unflattering (especially with a bell-bottom FLARE). That being said, if you have high waters, why not turn them into a day CAPRI! (See? Positivity lurks around each PANT LEG!)

           4)    Alright ladies. And men. Let us get down to business. It is nice to show skin. It is also nice to wear a form fitting dress to show off all of our WONDERFUL CURVES. However, stealing a piece of bathroom/shower DÉCOR is unacceptable. Why wear a stretchy bath mat when you could be using it not to slip in the shower. I am all for a flattering hemline, strapless dress, and even a tight dress exposing BODY SHAPE. However, a stretchy article not made for the human body cannot be comfortable. Therefore, I suggest any other comfortable option!

OVERALL, I hope that this post brings one idea to mind. Style is what you make it!!! (Minus these four offenses). Wear what you like, even if it is not mainstream or modern. However, if you participate in modern society, even a small wardrobe collection of trouser pants, skirts, and cardiCANS for the office can be your SAVING GRACE!!!